Highlights from the trip to Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale. Unphotographed lowlight: several hours of swampass, the result of being stuck in a torrential downpour for 30 minutes before we sought shelter at the mausoleum.
Besides the aforementioned torrential downpour (and thereafter constant swampass), I would also include as a lowlight my near(?) heart attack on the side of the highway, when I realized I couldn’t even walk my bike and simply had to lie down. (Either uphill biking being hungover on only a coffee and a sip of water is a bad thing or I really need to stop smoking and vastly improve my diet.)
But when I was nearly dying on the side of the road, a voice called out to me: “Are you okay? Do you want some water?” I sat up and saw that a kind, dyke-y looking woman had stopped, mid-traffic. (I had long prior sent Lukas ahead; he could ride faster and I didn’t want him to be disappointed for having to ride with a #sadslack.) We would see her again and learn that her name was Barbara, and that she is the grounds supervisor and also, indeed, a lesbian—rainbow keychains FTW!
From Barbara to John, our 22-year-old mausoleum tour guide (“Who do you want to see?” “Judy Garland?” “What about Joan Crawford?” “YES!!!” “I figured.”), everyone we met at Ferncliff Cemetery was absolutely delightful. Even Sal, a grounds worker who “talks loud and has a foul mouth”, didn’t harass us too much for being two faggots from NYC on bikes caught in a downpour visiting the resting places of Judy G and Jimmy B. Okay, maybe the two black dudes watering the flowers at Malcolm X’s grave with Sprite weren’t overjoyed when I tried to be helpful and ended up just rudely interrupting them and their mother, but they were still extremely polite.
More polite than the two ladies on 110th Street near the end of our day who, spotting us waiting for the light to change, exclaimed: “OH LORD! Where is my camera? Why don’t I have my camera? OH MY GOD.” Yes, ladies, two white faggots riding through the Manhattan ghetto, soaked, both wearing helmets, is HILARIOUS. I know. So I just went into my gay black girl voice and ended up charming their pants off.
Jimmy B would have been proud. I think Judy would have been too. Happy Memorial Day to all.
